Definitely Not the Opera

iwon.com

by John Pungente

When you stop to think about it, it was probably inevitable. We've watched reality based shows like COPS for a number of years. And we've watched quiz show even longer. Both tend to be relatively cheap to produce, make money and get large ratings – WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE continues to be number one no matter what the other networks put up against it.

Marriage seems to be much on the mind of television moguls these days so it is not surprising to see them marry reality shows with quiz shows – how can they lose? There is something fascinating watching something we don’t think is artificial or scripted.

And just a week or so ago on CBS – who seem to be trying to corner these kinds of shows – are they trying to be the new Fox network for the new millennium – we saw a randomly chosen person walk off with $10 million – surely the biggest prize given away on a television show.

An internet web site – iwon.com – partly owned by CBS – gave away the $10 million dollars – calling it their first annual ten million dollar give away. It's an interesting web site – if you use it you are eligible to win $10,000 each day, or one of 30 $1,000 prizes each week, or the $1 million prize every month, or the $#10 million dollar prize each year. From those who use their web site, they draw "at random' one name a month and that person wins $1 million dollars.

Don't let all those numbers confuse you – or even try to add them up – I'll save you the trouble. They add up to some $27 million dollars a year – given away for doing nothing but using a web site.

For their first annual $10 million dollar give away, the computer drew "at random" four people who used iwon.com and brought them to LA for a half hour of live television during which they were each guaranteed to win one of the following:

A: a Mercedes Benz Convertible
B: a week in Hawaii for 4 all expenses paid + $25,000 spending money.
C: a million dollars
D: ten million dollars

Never mind where they get all that money – their documentation calls the site a portal that is a great investment opportunity – and after all a good Hollywood feature costs much more than $27 million.

What intrigues me more is the "random selection" of which of the four gets which prize. Let me describe the four "chosen' and see if you can match who got which prize. I'll describe them in the order the show brought them out.

  1. A woman from the deep south whose husband is retired. She drives school bus to get the money needed for them to get by. Very down to earth salt of the earth type woman.
  2. A 20 year old man from a small southern town – population 500 – which he referred to as the "boringist" town in the world. He was very intense – probably nerves – and actually fainted two weeks ago when he was originally chosen.
  3. A Californian chef retired on disability who had undergone a miracle. Due to an accident in 1996 he could no longer walk. Then the doctors performed special surgery, loaded his back with nuts and bolts – now removed which he carries with him to show everyone – and yes, he brought them out on TV – and now he walks! . He told us that his great passion in life was his wife.
  4. A 23 year old Vietnamese man born in the US whose parents were boat people from Vietnam – his mother was pregnant with him on the boat. They came searching for "the American dream". His parents run a restaurant in San Jose and took their first day off in 23 years to come to LA for this show. He mentioned that you can tell how hard a man works by his hands and said his father hands are hardened by work so that his own could be soft. At that point he broke down as did dear Lisa Gibbons – the "host" of the show

Ok here's your fastest finger question (and if you have to ask what that is then shame on you). Well time's up – it goes faster than you thought – and the answer is obvious – the car goes to the 20year old in the boring town, the trip to Hawaii and $25,000 goes to the retired Chef, the million dollars goes to the school bus driver, and the ten million goes to the young Vietnamese whose story had the audience and hostess Lisa Gibbons in more tears than the other stories.

What are the odds of the computer choosing "at random" four people with such hard luck stories? Or perhaps only those kind of people use iwon.com. Who knows? And how come the one with the most heart wrenching story gets the big prize – again selected "at random"? Maybe computers do have a heart – someone tell that to Speilberg before he begins filming AI.

Absurd? Of course. But I'll bet many of you want to rush out and sign up for iwon.com. I know I did but let me warn you – you have to be a US citizen – ah yes, the Monroe Doctrine is still in effect. Whatever happened to free trade?

John Pungente, SJ, is an author, teacher, executive member of the AML (Ontario), and president of the Canadian Association of Media Education Organizations (CAMEO). His most recent publication is Watching TV. He is also the author of the following lively commentary on the latest trends in cooking shows.