Miscellany |
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"The most frightening realization hit me: there wasn't any reason behind
what I'd done. I mean, I knew why I'd done it - I just did it because it
would be fun. But I knew they would ask, "Why the hell did you
do this?" and if I didn't have a good enough reason, they would probably
throw me into a mental institution."
- Boyd Rice
There's a bunch of stuff that I've collected that belongs here somewhere but doesn't fit well into any of the categories I've smooshed together, so I'm just going to pop it all into this salad bar. Some strange apparitions seem to "have no suspects and no motive." Here's a nice one: You know those ads in the back of some magazines and comic books that invite you to send in your poignant and moving song lyrics - if they're quality material, you'll be invited to send in some money so a professional musician will record it and who knows, you could be the next Beck. You know the deal. Anyway, John Trubee wrote up some absolutely horrible lyrics which were promptly judged "very worthy of being recorded with the full Nashville Sound Production." Trubee sent in his $79.95 and got a country western take on a song that's now somewhat infamous in some quarters as "Blind Man's Penis." A Hungarian prankster created a web site to auction off a girl's virginity, then posted the names, phone numbers, email addresses and letters of introduction sent by the 13 highest bidders. Andrew Chambers was arrested for assault, forgery and theft, but the charges kept being dismissed because his reputation needed to remain spotless so he could testify for the prosecution as a DEA informant. Chambers earned over two million dollars as an informant, lying on the stand about his lawless activities and about his educational background, to help the prosecution win cases against the other criminals. Mess up your buddy's collection of Microsoft viruses with this collection of clever Windows Pranks. Paul Krassner's The Realist has been a long-time source of mingled news and fiction. (Does anyone remember hearing about LBJ porking JFK's entry wound?) Learn about The Meaning of 'Hack' from those who know. Or spend some time looking over many examples of Reality Hacking. I thought it was funny, but it turned out to be hilarious: a satire about canine junkies amongst law enforcement's drug-sniffing dogs hit close enough to home that many badges took it seriously when they found it on the web. Remember the CB radio? A democratic broadcast medium with plenty of potential for Poetic Terrorism. And what the world truly needs is just a little bit more Propaganda for the Paranoid, don't you think (or maybe there's enough already)? And why can't everything have the Voice of James Earl Jones? In the promising R&D department: Technoparasites ("the Sunday of the Internet! The seventh day of Creation.") Of course, the government will never admit to the remarkable Philadelphia Experiment (a.k.a. Project Rainbow). Off to the side of the "map vs. the territory" argument is the allegation that map companies fabricate towns, roads, and geographical details as a way of detecting when other companies steal their work. During the Falkland Islands war, newspaper stands in Britain announced Penguins Capture the Task Force and such. Professor Revilo P. Oliver asks "Can 'Liberals' Be Educated?" using examples of historical frauds, impostors and hoaxes to support his views on the credulity of intellectuals. Hard to let a discussion of extraordinary popular delusions go by without mentioning the hyperactive rumor that Paul McCartney is dead and that his death has been kept a poorly-guarded secret. Thinking of making a hoax web page? Notify the folks running the Fucking With the Brains of the Normals site, and join pages like "Black Market Babies" and "Americans for the Destruction of War Memorials." |
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