# The Usenet Clam

> Subject: Re: The "CLAM" Explained
> From: cpeek@shore.intercom.net (Chris Peek)
> Date: 1996/08/20
> Message-ID: <4vddop$56n@shore4.intercom.net>
> Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban

    It's a pity it's a hoax.  The image of a young college student going
    to his or her significant other and informing them they have the "THE
    CLAM"  makes for amusing speculation..

    Biff: Muffy we've got to talk?

    Muffy: Yes sweetheart?

    BIff: I've been to the doctor at the free clinic and I'm afraid I've
    got some bad news.

    Muffy: The free clinic? I thought you were well off Biff?

    Biff: We'll talk about that later Muffin...the doctor said I've got
    "THE CLAM!

    Muffy: Clams? Biff you know I don't have a good white wine for seafood
    around here.

    Biff: No,no Muffy  not "clams" ,  "THE" _CLAM_.

    Muffy: What the hell is "THE" CLAM Biff?

    Biff: I'm not sure MUFFY but the Doc says it's pretty bad and he
    thinks I might have to have my dingle removed.

    Muffy: Your dingle! But Biff what about our future what about having
    children?

    Biff: The doc says that's no problem. They'll just take a sperm sample
    while it's still here and we can do artifical insemination.

    Buffy: No dingle.... and a test tube baby! I'm not sure this
    relationship is going to work out Biff! I'll see you around.

    Biff (weeping): But Muffy... wait!!...........DAMN CLAM!!

    iayork@panix.com (Ian A. York) wrote:

    >In article ,
    >Kirk Kerekes  wrote:
    >>
    >> - Molluscum contagiousum (or molluscum for short) is one of the common
    >> - STD's that it seems hardly anyone hears of until they catch it.

    >Note that this, like the Chlamydia other people have pointed to, has
    >absolutely nothing to do with the symptoms of "The Clam" hoax as
    >described on, umm, whatever that URL was.

    >T:  There are a whole bunch of sexually transmitted diseases.
    >T:  You probably haven't heard of a lot of them.
    >T:  Some of them have names that are vaguely suggestive of "The Clam".
    >T:  None of them have symptoms as described for "The Clam".
    >F:  "The Clam" is a real disease.

    >If anyone is interested, Bernie Moss has just finished sequencing the
    >entire genome of molluscum contagiosum (except for the covalently closed
    >terminal repeats, of course) - it was just reported in Science, and the
    >sequence is available in genebank.  Bernie commented on a number of
    >interesting points about MC, most interesting of which was the observation
    >that it encodes a homologue of the class I major histocompatibility
    >complex (though, interestingly, with the peptide-binding site altered) -
    >which makes it intriguingly reminiscent of the unrelated virus human
    >cytomegalovirus, doesn't it?

    >Anyone who posts more on this may be interested to hear my detailed
    >analysis of the significance of the C-C chemokine receptor also encoded by
    >MC.

    >Ian

    >--
    >      Ian York   (iayork@panix.com)
    >      "-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a
    >       very respectable Man." -Jane Austen, The History of England